Someone once told me , “Keidy one day i want to be like you” and i remember that i just thought to myself i hope she doesn’t. Not because I’m not capable of being a good role model but because everything i’ve been through made me who i am today and well i just wouldn’t want her to go through the pain, the loneliness, the hurt, the bullying, the taking advantage of, the attacks, the thousands of tears i shed. So hopefully not.
How is it at you have everything you ever wanted but still feel like something is missing. How is it that one can be full of joy one minute and the next hate the world and feel completely lost. Life smacks you in the face and you just put this strong everything will be alright mask but deep inside you just break down every night. Why? Because you question if you’re doing everything in your power to keep everyone happy. Break down because it gets tiring to be the strong one or you’re just so dam tired. But then you clear those tears and look down in your arms and see that innocent peaceful human being that you brought into this world and just remember that she’s the reason that the strong character has to be up because she can’t see weakness. She needs to know that the strength are the arms that wrap her daily will always protect her.
I have been blessed earlier than expected but as a woman giving life to another being is priceless and that feeling is one of a kind.
Since I was a little girl I would plan out my life in a little book of how i wanted my life to be. “Be a princess, have my prince charming, and have a big castle with a doggy.” I thought that love was being able to hold hands and have prince charming just kiss my cheeks and say that i was pretty. But as I got older and experienced everything that I did, I started to see that love was just a word people through around like it was meaningless.
But then i met my frog that somehow fate finally came that once we kissed turned to my prince, the one that i was in the search of. & Now is my life partner and well that little princess became a queen in his eyes and now she is just waiting for her kisses when he comes home <3 :)
I Miss You - Mr. Villalobos. 11|24|2013*
Do you ever just look in the darkness and just wonder what you will be doing in a couple of years, who will be by your side or if you will be the same person you are now. Its scary to know that anything can happen because in a blink of an eye your life may change and well you just have to roll with the punches.
Every night I stay up late thinking, thinking of what we all stay up to think about, love, life, our future, our mistakes, memories. Some may fill your eyes with tears, tears of joy and happiness or pain and sorrow. & some will fill your head with questions. The what ifs, the how, the which , the whats. That is the 3am thoughts right.
Growing up I always thought true love was red roses, dates on Saturday nights, little block box that held expensive things, and always knowing what to say. I thought true love was a kiss in the rain, deep explanations, and the perfect story. But now that I’m older I’ve realized it’s not like that at all.
See because true love for me is ugly snapchats, and peeing while you’re on the phone. True love is kissing at 6 AM despite the morning breath and singing at the top of your lungs. It’s saying all the wrong things, at all the wrong moments. It’s sarcasm and being honest even when it hurts. It’s late hours of the night when it’s been a long day and it’s no make up and bad hair. It’s tears from laughter, it’s tears from sadness and it’s nothing like any storybook you’ve ever read. It’s never running out of things to talk about, and it’s being comfortable in the silence of things. True love is watching The Titanic though you swore you never would. It’s getting mad over stupid things. It’s “you’re an idiot,” and “you’re a little shit” and knowing you’re so lucky to hear those every day. It’s spilling your feelings at 4 AM when you should be asleep. It’s that song you hear on the radio that always makes you smile. It’s the worst story you could imagine, but thank God it worked out anyways. True love is never losing the magic. True love is not leaving when things get hard.
I like my definition better anyways."